Let it Out: Ola's Story

The Let it Out series explores ideas of releasing, confronting, and acknowledging our struggles and challenges while we’re still in the midst of them. By sharing our experiences in safe spaces, we learn that we are indeed not alone. Ola Mazzuca, Syzygy community member and partner, shares her journey into meditation while navigating personal trauma and transition. Her poem “Diving Timing” captures a day in her life and includes Sanskrit mantras learned in her spiritual practice.

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Divine Timing By Ola Mazzuca

5:30 am. Alarm. Get up. Espresso. Answer emails. Gym.

GAU-RA-ANG-GA

Back home. Standing breakfast. Shower. Palo Santo. Sandalwood. A flame.

NI-TAI GAUR

Panic ensues mid-practice. The laundry. The groceries. This bill. That bill.

GAU-RA-ANG-GA

That press release. Those emails. Answer texts. A friend in need. Call Nonni.

NI-TAI GAUR

What about that project? And that audio? And that photo essay? And that other thing you had to do?

Om Bhavam Namah

Oh, right. I’m in practice. Breathe in. Breathe out. How much time is left?

GAU-RA-ANG-GA.

Toxic energy. A ball and chain. Why here? Why now? I search for the key.  

NI-TAI GAUR

There is only now, the past and future do not exist.

Om Bhavam Namah

But, Ola, all we have is TIME, right? Timing is divine.

GAU-RA-ANG-GA.

That’s why it’s tattooed on my left wrist.

It’s the word on the sign I see as I look out the window every day.

It’s the Patois license plate on that Honda Civic ahead of me on Bloor

- ‘Tek Time’ -

As I race through the intersection

To get to a client interview - on TIME.

NI-TAI GAUR

But time? What the fuck is it anyway?

Om Bhavam Namah

It’s mine, not yours.

Om Namah Shivia

I forgot

How to protect it, cherish it, savour it, in gratitude.

Like every moment is my last.

GAU-RA-ANG-GA

My cousin says, ‘let go and let God.’

So, I surrender.

NI-TAI GAUR

I’ve been my own bully up until now.

But bullies don’t serve people well,

So, I said goodbye to that girl.

I left her in the past.

GAU-RA-ANG-GA

Yet, sometimes she comes around,

So, I pause.

I take a moment.

I take time.

To step away. And breathe.

NI-TAI GAUR

I inhale, I exhale. In presence.

In divine timing.

I surrender, and proclaim:

Om Bhavam Namah

Om Namah Shivia

You can follow Ola Mazzuca’s journey here